I don't mean to beat up the subject, but I think it's worth taking more time to talk about self worth. The issue came up today again because someone mentioned a problem a friend was having and the only answer I could come up with is, "She doesn't care enough about herself to take care of herself." My friend didn't answer right away and then he said, "Yeah, maybe you're right."
I CLEARLY recognize this problem in our society. Look around you. There are so many people who clearly, at some point in their life, just give up. They stop dressing nice or they stop getting a nice haircut. Or they just "let themselves go". I know people like this and it's very, very sad because although I do not think that looking great every day is the key to life and success, I do think that not trying to look good reveals a person's inability to care for herself. There is pride in feeling that you've done your best whether it's at work or at home or in taking care of yourself. Many people never experience that because they really do not believe that they are worth taking care of.
I believe that we have an innate worth that comes simply because we are children of God. Yes, I believe that we are children of God. And I believe that God cares about each and every one of us. I don't run around beating people over the head with this, but if someone asks me, I tell them that they were created by God, they have value, and God doesn't make any junk. He just doesn't. We become junk when the world whacks us over the head and beats us into nothing. And a lot of people get the crap beat out of them and are left to pick up the pieces. I take tremendous pride in telling them that they are loved. Most don't believe it.
You have to learn for yourself that it's worth caring for yourself before you can make change. It's possible. I've done it. You have to believe that you're worth saving.
My dream is that everyone would believe that they were worth saving.
Please email for a REVIEW COPY.Bad Girls Club has been added to the Pacific Northwest Special Collection at the University of Washington Library and the Ted Hipple Special Collection at the University of South Florida.
BAD GIRLS CLUB (not connected with the TV show) is a roller coaster ride that will put you into the head of a parentified child who is fighting to save her life. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be that child or if you were that child, you'll find yourself in these pages.
I was a parentified child and this blog is a lot about that and also about the things I've learned and done as a result of that experience. I've published two books, (Save Me, A Young Woman's Journey Through Schizophrenia to Health, Doubleday; Bad Girls Club, Blooming Tree Press) both about parentified and abused children which have been well received by educators and mental health experts.
"This book is a must read for school counselors, school psychologists, school nurses and all those interested in providing education and intervention for youngsters trapped in similar family dynamics and unable to free themselves."
Jan Tkaczyk MA School Counselors Assoc. Adjunct Professor, UMass. Boston "Bad Girls Club is as riveting as Dave Pelzer's A Child Called It books, but is far better at exploring the psychological reasons why the abused remain so loyal to their abusers." Midwest Book Review  parentification, child abuse, young adults, abandonment, shame, vulnerability
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